Are You Stuck: A Lesson from the Winged Frog

I think some of the greatest questions start with the words, “What if…”  Think about it.  The words following this phrase have endless possibilities!  I know what the pessimists may be saying, “Yeah, ‘What if a frog had wings?  He wouldn’t bump his bottom when he hopped.’”  This may be true, but I want to show you a liberating question that works nine times out of ten in helping create options.

I don’t know.

When I was in my Life Coach training at Life Breakthrough Academy with Daryl Daughtry, he shared this trick of the trade with me.  Every coach will run into the coachee who responds to the question, “What is your action step for this,” with, “I don’t know.”  He stated that in his 10+ years of Life Coaching, he has never had a client stick with “I don’t know” after asking this question. 

What if you did?

Here it is.  “What if you did know?”  Better yet, “What if someone like you was asking you this question, what would you tell them to do?”  Sometimes the client will say, “Well that is what I am paying you for.”  Here they are sadly mistaken.

The Core of Coaching

This is one of the challenges that Life Coaches experience sometimes.  The coachee expects the coach to provide advice.  Advice is the work of counselors, mentors, or consultants, but rarely is this the role of a Life Coach.  At the core of what Life Coaching is, stands the ideal that the Coachee is responsible for their success and failure, not the coach. 

The Paradigm Shift

On the other hand, this stalemate accountability has the potential to free the coachee from their fences.  This moment is much like the times when you can see another person’s flaws, but have difficulty seeing your own.  When your need to take action becomes somebody else’s, you can instantly see where to go next.  It is a strange way to shift paradigms, but it works. 

The Bottom Line

When you are stuck, and don’t know what your next step is, it can many times help to shift your problem to someone else just like you.  If you “act” like you are telling someone else to do what you could do, it is freeing.  There is one step missing to the empowering part of this experiment, but while I have you here, “What if you were someone who knew what they wanted to Break in their Nature, what would you do?”

Nick Massey is a Life Coach, Speaker, and Writer.  To read more from Nick Massey, or to schedule him for a Life Coaching session, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at http://www.coachmassey.com. © 2014 Nick Massey