3 Tips for the Dreaded P-word

Priorities exist even if you do not acknowledge them.  Often we say certain things are priorities, but in reality, our actions, time, and money speak differently.  I can remember a story that Dave Ramsey told one time.  He was sitting in on an organization’s business meeting, and they were going over the budget.  He kept hearing people mention that the kid’s in this organization were the most important thing.  Eventually, he showed them that their money betrayed their words.  The youth fund had the smallest amount dedicated to it.  Truth is that we have all done this before.  So, how do you set priorities and keep them?

Write it Down

The dullest number two pencil is still sharper than most minds.  When you write things down, it brings them into focus.  Dawson Trotman put it this way, “Thoughts disentangle themselves passing over the lips or through the pencil tips.”  I know writing is so 19^th Century, so you can type if you prefer.  That is what I do.  I find that I am much more effective when I type my task list.  I use a website called, www.rememberthemilk.com.

Prioritize Your List

After you make your task list, it is very helpful to prioritize them.  There are multiple systems for doing this.  The easy way of explaining this, is to tell you to rate your entire list in order of importance.  You start working on the most important and consider delegating a few tasks at the bottom of the list.  As you do this every day, you will see ways that you can improve this system.  You may find that you include way too many details on your list, or you may find that you include way too little.  Feel free to experiment.

Extra Credit

I must confess, I have never done this, but I can see where it would be beneficial.  I have read a few books and articles on time management that highly suggest it.  The extra credit is for you to write down every single thing you do in one day.  The goal is to help you see where you waste time.  I remember one book suggesting that you do this for an entire week, and include your task list after the first day.  This helps you to see how much more productive you are with a prioritized task list.  Another benefit is that after determining your values, you can see if the time you spend is matching your desires.  For example, the work-a-holic who says their family is important, will see just how much time they don’t spend with them. 

Prioritizing is like keeping a budget of your time.  It is a plan.  It is a target.  Successful people know the importance of all these.  Break your Nature by budgeting your time—time is the most valuable thing you own. 

Nick Massey is a Life Coach, Speaker, and Writer.  To read more from Nick Massey, or to schedule him for a Life Coaching session, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at http://www.coachmassey.com. © 2014 Nick Massey

The 6 Most Important Areas to Self-evaluate

Sometimes, when a client comes in for Life Coaching, they already know what they want to change.  Other times, they have no clue, they just feel stuck.  One tool I find useful is called the Wheel of Life Balance.  On this wheel are eight areas that I ask my clients to assess their life satisfaction on, but I am only sharing six with you.  I encourage you to rate yourself as we go along on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the least satisfied and 10 being the most satisfied.  So, here they are.

#1 Spiritual

I think some useful questions that will guide you through this category, are ones like, “How do you think God views you right now?”  Or, “If God were your significant other, how would He be feeling in the quality time area?”  The idea here is not so much about what you think of yourself, but what you believe God thinks of you.

#2 Family

Family is another important area that people need to thoughtfully consider where they are.  One question you could ask yourself here is, “How does my (insert family members name here) feel about our relationship?”  Also, considering the last time you had a thoughtful conversation, or fun time as an entire family is helpful in finding out where you stand with your family.

#3 Career

This is usually the place where we spend the most time.  Sadly, sometimes these people know us better than the people we live with.  The reality though, is that we have to work, and that’s okay.  The question I would ask here is, “Are you doing what you love to do?”  “How is your work life affecting your health?”

#4 Finances

I am finding that most people don’t know how to manage their money.  They live paycheck to paycheck, and according to Dave Ramsey, money arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce in America.  Finances can cause a great deal of stress for anyone.  For this category, answer the question, “How is your relationship with money right now?”

#5 Health

Face it…American’s in general are disease ridden, obese, and overall unhealthy.  This is an area that most of us could stand to improve on in some way.  A client will find it helpful think about their activity and stress levels, and also things like their environment and eating habits. 

#6 Personal Growth

Personal growth is shrouded in the “I am selfish” complex.  I won’t go into the irrational thoughts surrounding this idea, but I will give you some questions to ask yourself.  “When is that last time you spent doing something to enhance your mental or physical self, and what was that?”

So, where do you stand?  What areas would you like to improve in?  If you don’t know where you are, you can’t know how to get where you want to go.  Self-evaluate and Break your Nature.  As a Life Coach, I can help.

Nick Massey is a Life Coach, Speaker, and Writer.  To read more from Nick Massey, or to schedule him for a Life Coaching session, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at http://www.coachmassey.com.  © 2014 Nick Massey

My #1 Secret to Silencing Haters and Building Success

          You know who I’m talking about.  Haters!  It doesn’t matter what you do, they have something to say.  Seems like every time you have a good idea, or vision, they come along and do what they do best—hate!  And as much as you don’t like to admit it, you often walk away discouraged and exasperated.  Would you like to know how to silence haters?  It is actually pretty easy.  The secret is this, you feed what you want to live, and starve what you want to die.  So let’s make this practical.

          After thoughtfully considering what God would have you do, you are so excited to tell someone!  So starve the Haters and feed the Lovers.  What does it look like to starve a Hater from spoiling your dreams?  You could simply not talk to them about your vision.  You could even stop spending time with them altogether.  This may sound difficult and harsh, or not even feasible (sometimes you live with Haters, and if that’s the case, refer to idea number one).  If your vision matters, you need to protect it.  But another principle is at work here too.  You have to replace what you take out (I am not suggesting divorce or running away).  Let me explain.

          When you starve the Haters, you have to feed the Lovers (I am not suggesting adultery either).  Identify the people who are Haters and Lovers in your life.  They look like this.  Haters point to your past failures, and Lovers point to your future success.  Haters hold you down, Lovers hold you accountable.  Haters ask you sarcastic and dream busting questions, while Lovers ask you sincere and dream building questions.  Also, I want to make sure I am not misunderstood—flowery praise is cheap support.  You are not looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear.  True Lovers are real people who genuinely care about your success.  In short, Lovers are people who will listen to your idea, ask thoughtful questions, and support you in your decisions.

          I must tell you the truth though, Haters are plentiful and Lovers few.  If we had more Lovers in this world, people as a whole would have more fulfilled and successful lives.  No need to get discouraged though, there are people who can help you—Life Coaches!  Life Coaches are people who love your dream, and want to help you get there.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be writing about some of the things that Life Coaches do to support you. 

          The bottom line here is that you need to limit your exposure to Haters, and seek out healthy connections in your life with Lovers.  The healthiest connection that you can have is that with your Creator.  He listens to you, makes you think about what you are doing, and moves along side of you offering guidance.  As you yield to Him, you will experience true and eternal success.  I want you to be all that God has called you to be.  That is why I do what I do as a Life Coach, Speaker, and Writer.  Silence the Haters and Break your Nature!

Nick Massey is a Life Coach, Speaker, and Writer.  To read more from Nick Massey, or to schedule him for a Life Coaching session, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at http://www.coachmassey.com. © 2014 Nick Massey

Urgent: Blind People Walking

          When blind people walk without a long white cane, they are dangerous because they have no direction.  People who can see and have no vision statement are much the same—they have no direction in life.  Another way of saying this is that to find direction in life is to find meaning or purpose.  I don’t know about you, but if I were blind I would want a long white cane, just like if I were able to see, I would want a vision statement. 

          If you are interested in a long white can, reading the rest of this blog section will help with that.  I must offer this caveat though—this process takes time and thoughtful consideration.  Also, be flexible as this may change from time to time, especially when you first begin.  Following is a step by step process. 

Step 1: As a Christian, I believe you will only find real fulfillment when you discover God’s vision for your life.  Sure, you can skip this step, but I don’t recommend it.  To know God’s vision, you need to spend time in talking to him (prayer), listening to his voice (Bible study), and doing things together (ministry).  As you ask him to open your mind, guide you, and try different ways of serving others, God’s vision for your life will begin to take shape. 

Step 2: From here on out, you write down or type what your thoughts and experiences are concerning God’s vision for you.  Gary Ryan Blair once said that we are blessed with a permanent memory, but cursed with lousy recall.  When we write down our vision, if gives us a tangible destination. 

Step 3: The next step is to consider these questions from Jon Acuff in his book “Quitter.”  The questions are as follows:

What do I love enough to do for free?

The thing I love doing the most is studying the Bible.  I know that both of those statements sound cliché but they are true.

What do I do that causes time to feel different?

Another way of thinking about this is to consider, “What task do you get lost in?”  You know…the thing you do when you set down and it feels like only forty-five minutes have passed, then you realize you forgot to eat dinner two hours ago.

What do I enjoy doing regardless of the opinion of other people?

In other words, if you never received praise or confirmation about your beloved task, would you still want to do it? 

If only your life changed, would that be enough?

Self explanatory.

Are there any patterns in the things you like doing? 

For example, I love studying the Bible, not just because of the life-changing power, but I enjoy the process of insight, writing, and thinking of practical ways to apply what I learned. 

          I urge you to find God’s vision for your life.  Live by it and change the course of your life…  Break your wandering Nature by getting a long white cane.  If this has helped you, please share it with others.

Nick Massey is a Life Coach, Speaker, and Writer.  To read more from Nick Massey, or to schedule him for a Life Coaching session, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at http://www.coachmassey.com. © 2014 Nick Massey